Last week was quite eventful but can be summed up in three main categories, all rooted in the inexorable march forward of this unfortunate, not to say unfair, condition.
Firstly, Carers. Just the process of getting up, showered and ready for the day becomes a time consuming activity when on can do little or nothing for one's self. Monica soldiered on for as long as she could but it was getting too much so we decided to call in the carers. It was all arranged smoothly and two pleasant, professional women arrived on Wednesday morning to take care of all my requirements. My apprehension was unfounded and after only a few days I'm completely at ease with their presence and care.
Secondly, Convene. Coping with toileting becomes tricky as use of the hands declines. Having discussed this with the hospice they arranged for the District Nurse to visit me so that I could be fitted with this device to make life easier. I was not familiar with the appliance so it occurs to me that you may not have come across it either? I will refrain from inelegant detail, but some description is needed. Basically it consists of a condom-like flexible sheath (lined with SuperGlue, and replaced daily!) which connects to a bag strapped to the leg, all discretely worn under the clothes. It's quite a good system as long as everything is done properly. On Saturday morning the carer neglected to close the drainage tap on the bag, which led to a bit of a problem later in the day!
Lastly, Carbohydrates. My dietician visited on Friday to check my weight. On finding I've lost about 3kg since last month she recommended the diet that I've craved for years: loads of full-fat foods! Full fat milk, lard sandwiches, full-fat butter, full-fat cheese, matiere gras, oh joy! Naturally most of this will be assimilated by my uninvited and unwelcome body passenger, depriving me of appearing on some Channel 4 expose of British lardiness.
In other news: my bed was delivered this week so I'm now sleeping in an infinitely adjustable bed which is very comfortable, I've persevered with the Nippy and can now sleep with it on all night to improve my breathing, I've pretty much lost the ability to speak and started to use an app on the i-pad which speaks what I type.
So, there we go; bit by bit, I'm less and less!
You're not less & less. You're still my mate of 40+ years with whom I've drunk too much, eaten too much & laughed til we cried. You may have got one pisser of an illness but you're sparkle is still there as is the wicked sense of humour. Stay positive and losing several kilos is no big deal as you were becoming a fat git anyway.
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